psychology

A One-Sided Conversation With Myself

Every day is a struggle to find meaning and happiness in my life. A STRUGGLE. It does not mean that I actually do something about it, but just the opposite. I sometimes wonder why I am an idiot, TV addict. I was told by a stranger whom I respect that I just have to meditate on me. That’s dumb. I have psychoanalyzed the shit out out my mind and body as well as the people I know. Why should I just sit around and think some more? My main problem is just DOING. I don’t know how to DO. I don’t know if I ever did.

What incites my passion?

I like writing. But I am not as good at it as I would like to believe. Hell, I just taught myself to type properly only recently.

Get better.

What is this voice in my head that just said that? Oh yeah, THAT voice. That voice is dumb.

Psychology was never your passion. 

There is that voice again… Damn voice. You harsh. If you don’t already know, I have a B.A. in Psychology.

You love food to the point of an unhealthy obsession.

I know I know. Pick on the person who sleeps right after eating. I person willing to eat until she becomes broke.

Technology is interesting, but you are not logical enough nor willing to put in the hours to pursue it. 

This voice is saying things that make me upset. I have been seriously considering to learn to code. Why are you saying that? What happened to “Get better.”

You basically live in front of a screen watching your life away. To you, it is your happiness. 

No argument there.

What does food, TV and writing have in common?

Ugh. I am not gonna be an Anthony Bourdain, okay? I don’t give a shit about being a travel/food blogger. I don’t even like reviewing things on Yelp. How are these things supposed to set me on a path to a future? This voice does not know that I am an artsy person who thinks that getting into the arts will be horrible.

Will it? Or can you find another way other than the black and white way that you just described?

Uh… I am not sure…

You can still pursue anything other than modeling or sports, which you don’t want to do. Neuroplasticity is alive and well in your mind. You can easily go and pursue anything you have started but haven’t finished. I am just trying to guide your mind and passions. 

Yeah yeah. Save me the story, voice in my head. Dude I am just screwed up. I washed out Millennial with a semi-respectable job who refuses to believe that Human Resources is a college major. (I just thought that shit was learned on the job) I refuse to believe that there are jobs that required a college education in the past that are entry-level anyway. Hell, even the job I have now seems like any person eager for a job can do it. ANYONE. But I needed a degree for this shit. Colleges just seem like half of the on-the-job-training that I receive anyway. NO ONE knows what they really need to do and yet, the person with the flair, connections, extroverted personality and “relevant” degrees are the most valuable/most desirable people to hire.

We seem to have gotten off topic. What does TheHumanGirl want? 

I want a job that I can live off of that I can also be happy with doing. I want to be happy and not worry about money all that much. But here YOU ARE telling me to pursue an artsy fartsy passion that I KNOW will just make me a Millennial loser cliche. The jobs I have now at least pay my bills.

You need to be happy first. 

I know…

 

“Things I Know” (Part 1 of …)

Career Testing

Discover

My results. Took 2 hours to take test and to score it.

Today I took a career test. (One of many I have taken in my lifetime.) I went to Barnes & Noble a week or two ago and got this work book that claimed to help direct me towards my future. It’s called Discover What You’re Best At. I was waiting for the perfect time to take this comprehensive test and it finally happened today…

Sadly, I was a High Average in the fields of Business, Clerical, Logic and Mechanical tests. I was Low Average in the Numerical test. (Surprise! I can’t do percentages!) The only one that stood out at a Well Above Average score was my Social test.

I was upset because it was so razor thin of a margin (this test also counts for error) and that I could not really qualify for the 2 or 3 letter clusters offered since only my S stood out.(Does this sound like gibberish to you yet?) Oh well… On to the more interesting part of my blog today:

Here are a List of Reasons why I took this test:

  1. Throwing away money for a test to help me solidify a sense of seriousness about my future
  2. It has been a while since I took a test and I thought that I would see some sort of growth.
  3. I had a bunch of time on my hands.

List of Realizations after I took this test:

  1. I wonder if the answer is skewed because I have a degree in psych.
  2. I felt like throwing the book across the room because of #1 and hating myself for being bad with money
  3. I don’t HAVE to listen to the guidance… but I made a promise to myself that I would do whatever is the highest and on my personal career list if listed…

And because of #3 on my Realizations List, I am going to do it…

P.S. Personal Trainer was listed as a graduate degree option in my ‘S’ type… WTF??? DO many personal trainers need to go to grad school? Why hasn’t the world blown up with this type of scary information? Go home career test. You are drunk…


The Carl Jung’s and Isabel Briggs Myers’ personality test…. 

20160510_235010

I hate these scores. Such low percentages…

Yay! Another test! While applying for jobs, I was told to take this test before submitting a project. I didn’t get the job, (despite putting in long hours for the project) but it was the first time that someone wanted me to take a personality test for a job.

To be honest, I didn’t give a shit about it at first. I took this test before and got ISFJ or something like that, so I seemed to have had a more upgraded personality from a few years ago. (That is, if I took the test right the first time…) But for the sake of my career, I thought that it may be important to know the career options for an INFJ personality.

The FIRST one that came up on google was “Clinical Psychologist.”

Let me start by saying that I hate fate because that was what I was in school for… Now this test is telling me that my brain is broken and I should go back and complete a PhD in Psych already…


Conclusions

Cross-Referencing my INFJ personality with my S Cluster Career Suggestions (And all other 3-part career clusters that I decided mattered with an S and/or a M,L,C,B in it), I found a list of careers that is suitable for me:

  • Clinical Psychologist
  • Social Worker
  • School/Guidance Counselor
  • Educational Psychologist
  • Writer
  • Animator/Cartoonist
  • Graphic Designer
  • Librarian
  • HR Manager/Advisor
  • Industrial/Organizational Psychologist
  • Research Assistant
  • Engineering Psychologist
  • Executive Secretary
  • Virtual Assistant

Before this, I was ready to go into computer science. Now I know that that is probably not for me… Seems like any science is a no no here… Doesn’t mean I will never be interested, but maybe I should just stop fucking around and do clinical psych already… Seems that I will be best at it.

The End to everything that I know?

 

 

**** UPDATE****

6/1/16 – I returned the book.