psychology

The Job Hunt No One Is Prepared For

So you want a job? A regular 9-5? You didn’t study hard enough in school? You weren’t passionate in school? You weren’t passionate about anything when you were going through your teenage years/early twenties? LOL. GOOD LUCK.

If you read this article, you will feel either compassionate towards my efforts of finding a job or roll your eyes. Just know how hard I have been trying and that I consider myself still losing. You are expected to be strong, hopeful, confident and well-dressed during your job search but this article is about how those traits and efforts, that you put in, sometimes do not yield expected results. I hope to educate you in some aspects of the job search I experienced. But know one thing: You must be passionate and have hobbies to find happiness. (That is what I have seen in my successful friends as well as heard on the podcast How I Built This) School does not teach you that. School teaches you some of the important basics, how to follow like a drone, possibly discourage any non-school-related passions or talents you may have and some random things you do not need in order to get ahead in life. You know how they say that school teaches you to be a factory worker? Well, I can’t even land that job. Go have passion if you want to conquer the world. It could literally be in anything that gives you calmness, happiness and reason to exist. Do whatever it takes to get to that point. Read on to learn more.

Let’s begin.

So you just graduated college and you have no true passion in what you just studied…

YAY!

I went to a great school. (One of the top universities in the US on the west coast) I chose to study something called Psychology. I DID NOT think this through. A smart student would actually know what about Psychology they liked. I just liked the subject. A smart person would know that Psychology is not easy or an easy avenue to a job after graduation. To do psych properly in college, you gotta get research experience. I didn’t know that. To understand psychology, you must know that there are roughly two branches of career direction: Research or Practice. Both require you to get top grades, do your own research, get letters of recommendation and give your time to many years of study after a four year degree. YOU MUST LOVE psych before getting into it. You must realize that getting a four-year degree in something you LIKE is not that great.

I am not hating on Psychology. It was fun. It, however, was not practical.

Five years out of school, back in my sleepy hometown, I cannot find a good full-time job. To be fair, the demographics of my hometown leave much to be desired. Then why don’t I move away? Because I am poor. Because I am scared. Because living with your parents is the only way you can have or save money.

I have a part-time job. I get paid above minimum wage so I am still doing better than some friends who do not have a four-year degree. I have never been able to get a good full-time job for some reason. (Not retail, but an office job.) A serious job to show off my skills and dedication. I must have edited my own resume over 100 times by now.

SO WHY DON’T YOU GO BACK TO SCHOOL?

So what if I do? I will have more debt piled on more debt about another passionless study. I am worried that the next thing I go back to school for will be for something I am just doing for the money. (A typical millennial thought, I am aware of this) But it’s true! I hate doing financial or accounting transactions, but I should go back to school and learn them because those jobs get good money. I am not a fan of biology or chemistry but there are jobs for that. When I graduated with no work experience, that was the REAL tragedy. The only job I got on my own was at Target. It was demeaning on some days. I saw no future there, obviously. Even the people in the higher positions had degrees in their line of work. I did not see myself in HR, but you better believe I applied to HR assistant positions before realizing that HR positions needed a HR degree. That blew me away. I could totally do that work, and I needed a degree for it. Ridiculous.

What are degrees worth?

In my job search, I came across three types of jobs:

  1. The job is something I can do in my sleep. The salary is just okay. Why did I not get an interview?
  2. The job matches my resume exactly. I am confident I can perform these skilled tasks. Then why did I not even get an interview?
  3. The job is advanced, but I am ready for the challenge. The fact that I got into a good school should help impress the employers and let them know that I would like the opportunity to even interview. Was I so unqualified that they laughed at the thought of giving me an interview?

In the job search I experienced, my degree is a pile of poop compared to someone with more experience. As a teen, I was never encouraged to get a job because my family had a mindset that when a teen gets a job, it means that the family is poor. (That is the only explanation I could find) Interesting thought, but being discouraged to get a job, even as a young adult did not help me.

Anyway, are degrees worth it? Yes and no. Depends on what you want and how bad you want it. (Bad cliché out of the way now) Not even that: any dummy can get a job. It takes insider information and exact know-how of what you want to achieve to help set a good course. Short-term or Long-term, you need to WANT something. That’s why coding schools exist. That’s why admin assistant schools exist. That’s why technical colleges exist. People need to know everything about what they are getting into… Even though these schools can be totally unnecessary and people should just learn on-the-job-experience. THEN WHY GET A FOUR-YEAR DEGREE IF YOU WANT TO JUST WANT TO BE AN ASSISTANT? Some things are better left unsaid to TV and our TV parents who told us to go to college or else.

College is awesome because you meet lifelong friends… But not always the best people to help get you a job after graduation.

True stuff. MOST of my BEST friends are from college. But personally, my future suffers. When you get into the workforce, it becomes harder to make friends. Do yourself a favor and know what avenue you want to go on, with various options, before you get yourself into this mess.

Resumes & Cover Letters: The Bane of My Existence

I recently spent a lot of money on a professional resume writer. It has yielded results. If you suck at resumes, then GO BUY A CUSTOMIZED ONE ASAP. Skip buying that vacation to Vegas. You would regret it if you did not try this the first time around. (Or better yet, if your school offers this for free. THEN DO IT. Don’t be an idiot.)

Things I thought of during the job search:

If you hate sales, but are desperate to get a job, you will still hate sales. I have never seen so many fake smiles in my life. Sales jobs are easy to come by due to everyone needing a salesman, but I would rather sell my soul to the devil before I sell knives or phone services door-to-door. (Personality thing of mine) Try it if you want. Who knows? You may even like it. It is a useful skill.

I have a strange name. I changed it for a while to see if my name was the problem with finding a job. It was not.

I still wonder if the fact that I am VERY overweight has anything to do with landing a job. I am still convinced it is…

Employers want the cheapest person to wear many of the important hats in a company. Small businesses are prone to this. Doesn’t make them bad, but it can make you feel sad, overwhelmed and underpaid in the long run.

Before you travel a long distance for a job opportunity, you may want to ask what the salary is before you get there or leave the “salary expectation” portion blank. Or else they will call you “overqualified” when they really mean, “You expensive. Get out.” You will drive away knowing that you wasted a day’s pay as well as your self-esteem and confidence in the job search/human decency with wither and die.
The words, “We will keep your resume on file for future job openings.” IS A PILE OF CRAP AND NO HUMAN BEING SHOULD SAY THIS TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.

When an interviewer asks, “You are not the most qualified person that we are currently interviewing, why should we hire you?” they should burn in hell. The first time I heard this, I thought of how much of my time has been wasted and that I hated the person for even asking me such an embarrassing question. This could have been a tactic of sorts, but it seems rude, no? Made me not want to work there with such horrible people. (Did I mention that I hate sales?)

May we contact your current employer? HOW do you answer this???? (The list of things school did not teach you…) First of all, I want to mention that when you DO land an interview, that you will be given “busywork.” This busywork is a form that you must fill out that is almost the exact thing you spent an hour online or more to fill out, but you must write it by hand. Do you know all your past business addresses by heart? Well, you should! As you should also know how to answer the dreaded question: May we contact this employer? I always said “yes” with the fear that the hiring manager would think I am hiding something. But then another fear was that my current employer would find out that I was looking for a job behind her back, which I feel like is a shitty move. BUT THAT IS WRONG. You are allowed to say NO. But maybe write down: “Only after job offer” or something like that. So that you can have time to tell your boss so it won’t be a shock. I looked this up online and it seemed clear enough. I had a whole breakdown one day after I researched this fact following a job interview. Fearing that my current boss would fire me for looking for a better opportunity behind her back and the hiring manager would hear some negative blind-sided things about me from my current boss who was about to lose a relatively good employee. WHO WINS IN THIS SITUATION? No one. The job seeker suffers. You are always the one to suffer. It is by design.

Don’t be the employer who calls you in for a second interview and says to your face that you will call back all applicants despite they got the job or not to give them an update on the position, but then don’t do it… That is hurtful. This crap deserves a run-on sentence.

About me sort of:

I am introverted 28yr old female from Southern California who is overweight, has a strange name and went to a great university. I was good at school, but afraid of life. Life is about being a nerd about something you like. Your inner nerd could literally be about anything. Depression sprouted in my most critical years of life. Depression is the absence of having passion, things that excite you. I gave up a lot that still affects me to this day. To the smart kids: If you notice that you can no longer keep up with your peers anymore – that you find the daily grind of competing with them in advanced classes a stressful chore, THEN GET OUT. (Reasonably- Like just do the regular classes, change schools, or make friends that you respect and who like the things you like) You will save yourself a lifetime of being passionless. Go get a fast food or retail job and find out what life really is like. That will give you the kick in the pants to never want to work there again and find something you really love doing. Don’t do something if it is just expected of you. Do something you like. There are 50 year-olds that go back to school and completely change their careers but you can do so much more exploring than you are capable of. You will sometimes find yourself in something completely different than what you imagined in the first place. You can do this by giving up the fake friends and the fake competing. You can be successful by your own right. Comparing yourself to others is a terrible thing to do, especially if you don’t even like the reason in the first place. There is a textbook way to do something wrong, but there is no recipe for success for each individual. You must create your own recipe. Success is relative to how you do something. Just going to Harvard will not get you a job. You might get in the door, but not permanently. That is the school of life.
So why don’t I follow my own advice?

I am under the impression that I have failed. I feel like I won’t feel that way until I land that full-time job. I just don’t know why. I don’t want the job hunt to conquer me. I want to conquer IT. But I am slowly realizing that with every passing day, that I need to go back to school. For what? I don’t know…

That is where I will end it.

Hobbies

In more recent years of my life, I have been asked if I have any hobbies. When someone asks me this question, I tell them hobbies I do once in a blue moon- hobbies I used to have before life showed me its ugly face. What I really love is watching TV. But I tell people that I like to read and write. It’s not completely false, but it makes me feel smart or like I am more interesting somehow. I do not have the best talent for writing, but I still do it. Same with reading. But if you were to show me a new show on TV, I will quickly critique why it is relevant and why. Comedy is my favorite subject, probably because of my history of being sad. (Lets play the world’s smallest violin)

Anyway, back to hobbies. You must have a hobby that you do often. It will not only help you master a skill and make you stand out but it will also cultivate the nerd in you to where you can speak fluently and passionately about something. A good example of this is the Ron Swanson character or the Leslie Knope character in Parks and Rec. I like these examples because they obviously love some things more than their current jobs. (There are more characters like this, but those are my favorite) A level of passion that I have yet to obtain. A level of passion necessary to their own happiness. You can have a boring job you don’t like, but as long as you have passion and a hobby, your life will still have meaning. If you are in finance but might not like it, you might be able to make the money necessary to doing expensive hobbies you enjoy in your free time. Is the trade off worth it? Can you really do something you love and get paid for it? Would either of these examples be completely worse than having a life where you hate every day at your job and have no hobbies to make you happy when you come home? Is it worth putting the time and effort in something (Such as years of school or a crappy starter job/internship) to get to a higher level where you like your job? What is worth it? What are you able to achieve in order to become happy? That’s why hobbies are important. Because you need to be able to make yourself happy as well as keep busy because doing nothing might not be healthy for you. You know what I mean. I don’t need to explain unhappiness to a smart human being. Don’t be the person who daydreams happiness. Just do it. Even if it is cheap and takes up a bunch of time.

 
To A Future Employer:

P.S. If you are an employer who is looking for someone who will give it her all, will smile every day, who isn’t a diva or a drama queen, who cares about the quality of her work, who is punctual (ALWAYS), who respects her peers, who works hard every day, who can deal with difficult people, who wants to be creative, who is motivated and systematic on completing all her tasks, who likes innovation, technology and taking risks, who is organized as hell, who just went through a rough patch from life- but has conquered it with style and and humility- then I am the woman for the job. I work hard. I am a team player. I am a leader-in-training. I have experience with all walks of life. I am personable on command. I like to do tasks quickly. I have a recognizable face and I am kind. I ask questions. I make mistakes but learn from them to prevent them from ever happening again. I am shy but have a funny, witty, caring personality when warmed up. Aren’t these the qualities you hiring employers are looking for? Why am I not already on your team? The content of the job is irrelevant. I am telling you that many jobs are on-the-job training anyway. You just have to be LIKED. So why is my personality not even considered? I am put in a room with someone who has the absolute power to just brush me off and say I am not qualified or fit for the job. How can that NOT make a human being looking for respectable, honest work act nervous? The introverts have lost this battle, haven’t they? I must have a big personality to sway your whim, is that it? Should I tell a dirty joke? Should I be clumsy and overly happy? Should I be loud and kiss your ass? Do I need to know someone special? What will it take to change my humble personality to get me hired?

What am I doing wrong?

A terrible question that all job-seekers ask.

Good luck out there homies… The job market is a cruel place. You have to continue forward until you are successful. I hope this article has helped you as it helped me…

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Two-Weeks Notice & Life Lessons

I submitted my two weeks today for my second job.

I gathered myself and said that being unhappy was not gonna fly in 2018.

This year will be about self-healing. I cannot heal if I am unhappy every day.

I have proven that I am willing to change. But I know that I am no where NEAR where I need to be.

Where do I need to be? There is a willingness inside of me that has turned to stone over many many years. I need to chip away at the stone and find out all my potential.

I keep going back to the same place in my mind and I need to not go back anymore. I have always struggled with moving on. I keep finding myself living in the emotions of the past. The habit of the past. Not preventing them in any way. Not growing.

One of the things I learned in life is that if you don’t speak up, bad things will happen. If you don’t accept that government employees at the DMV have the right to be bad at their jobs and totally disrespect you, then it is okay to make a scene. I got what I needed that day despite their incompetence. If you see a baby lost and circling the front of a store, then it is okay to step in and take the kid to the front desk. If you forget a charge you made on a credit card or could have sworn that it was paid, then you can call up the company and have it fixed. If the car shop owner hangs up on you when you ask for the third time about a service that he was supposed to provide, but forgot, then it is okay to explore other avenues and get what you need done. That is knowing when the battle is over, but did not lose anything in the process.

Endless paperwork. Long days of a job that gives you exhaustion. Co-workers that don’t align to your standards of basic human concern. Friends that don’t ask about your life even though you were in their presence for two hours. New diet involving no carbs or sugar. New symptoms of a skin rash or a new color emerging on your body.

There will always be something. You just have to speak up.

It was against my nature because I was trained to observe and not react. The current people around me don’t care about success, but they always complain about not having money. I don’t see any personal success in anyone other than a select few. I like knowing that those who strive for more in a positive way are around me. But those who complain, don’t do anything about anything and are constantly negative will be around me for a while.

I got off topic. Not having this job is scary financially. But it can also be an opportunity. Writing. Exercise. Cooking. Those are my topic choices for the three-four hours of free time each day.

I want to live somewhere cold in the winter. I have decided this. Last time, I came back because I missed one of my friends. Now, I have a significant other to think about as well. But if I have to spend the summer boiling, that will make me unhappy. Watching TV and not doing anything else will make me unhappy. I would rather be the one to experience great things rather than watch someone on TV do it. I have seem different Travel Channel hosts travel to the same place, but I, myself have never gone.

I am trying. I know I have commentaries about people, but it all comes down to loneliness. I feel alone in my thoughts and ideas. There aren’t many people who want to be ambitious around me. There are no people who say, “Can I join you? I will do whatever it takes.” But instead there are people who say, “I can never do that! It’s not my thing.” I have dealt with this a lot. So much to the point where I give in and do what everyone else is doing.

I will try to treasure those who give a crap about me. Sometimes I give too much attention to those who don’t and I just hate life. I can’t help it. I will say that as you get older, that you care less about what other people think. Manoj Bhargava said it best when he said that he didn’t think anyone was doing anything right. People can only tell you the mistakes to be made but there really no formula to success. You watch people on Shark Tank only to see that the high tech product that they spent four-times their life-savings on is horrible. I want to apply this to other parts of my life as well. One of the reasons why Psychology didn’t work out for me was the fact that there were people who you had to depend on for their emotions, money, accolades, respect. (The research field) And I know that if I see people who have made poor choices over and over again, that I would get depressed quickly. (The clinical field) There is skill involved for both, but the patience or butt-kissing would be too much. Something that I could not do. AND YET I tell myself, that I should still pursue it. JUST BECAUSE I hold a degree in it. I am confused.

Money is something I hate. School is too much. I would like to go back to school but I am scared about being as unmotivated and a bad procrastinator as last time. There was no vision. I was following the pack. The weakest link on several occasions. I don’t even want to go back to UCLA because I did myself a great injustice there. I am literally still paying the price.

I am trying to work up the courage to go back again. ONLY ONE person has ever taken interest in this. When I told her an idea I had, unbeknownst to me, she researched it and gave me a print out to help me. I was so touched. There has been encouragement to stick to my Keto diet, but there has been no encouragement to my future. There have only been, “You should go back if you want a better job,” with no sense of direction. Now that I see this, it sounds like I just want someone to do the work for me. But in truth, I just want someone to be interested.

Never trust a guidance counselor. They are not interested in you.

From what I learned, you just gotta hustle. You gotta get your head in and call people out. You have to ask a million questions to get the right responses from people. Some people change their minds midway or you simply cannot trust what they have to say. I cannot tell you the unimaginable pain it is to be on the phone and they have to redirect you so much that they redirect you back to the first person you talked to. That is an example of a modern-day battle. You gotta grow courage and get some balls. People don’t care about you, because they care about themselves first. The government won’t tell you about special programs that can help you because they don’t want you to use them. That’s life.

How messed up is that?

Anyway, I am gonna do it. I am gonna apply to school again I am going back to community college, I decided. I am gonna try this computer science thing that I wanted to do 10 years ago.

I can do it.

A One-Sided Conversation With Myself

Every day is a struggle to find meaning and happiness in my life. A STRUGGLE. It does not mean that I actually do something about it, but just the opposite. I sometimes wonder why I am an idiot, TV addict. I was told by a stranger whom I respect that I just have to meditate on me. That’s dumb. I have psychoanalyzed the shit out out my mind and body as well as the people I know. Why should I just sit around and think some more? My main problem is just DOING. I don’t know how to DO. I don’t know if I ever did.

What incites my passion?

I like writing. But I am not as good at it as I would like to believe. Hell, I just taught myself to type properly only recently.

Get better.

What is this voice in my head that just said that? Oh yeah, THAT voice. That voice is dumb.

Psychology was never your passion. 

There is that voice again… Damn voice. You harsh. If you don’t already know, I have a B.A. in Psychology.

You love food to the point of an unhealthy obsession.

I know I know. Pick on the person who sleeps right after eating. I person willing to eat until she becomes broke.

Technology is interesting, but you are not logical enough nor willing to put in the hours to pursue it. 

This voice is saying things that make me upset. I have been seriously considering to learn to code. Why are you saying that? What happened to “Get better.”

You basically live in front of a screen watching your life away. To you, it is your happiness. 

No argument there.

What does food, TV and writing have in common?

Ugh. I am not gonna be an Anthony Bourdain, okay? I don’t give a shit about being a travel/food blogger. I don’t even like reviewing things on Yelp. How are these things supposed to set me on a path to a future? This voice does not know that I am an artsy person who thinks that getting into the arts will be horrible.

Will it? Or can you find another way other than the black and white way that you just described?

Uh… I am not sure…

You can still pursue anything other than modeling or sports, which you don’t want to do. Neuroplasticity is alive and well in your mind. You can easily go and pursue anything you have started but haven’t finished. I am just trying to guide your mind and passions. 

Yeah yeah. Save me the story, voice in my head. Dude I am just screwed up. I washed out Millennial with a semi-respectable job who refuses to believe that Human Resources is a college major. (I just thought that shit was learned on the job) I refuse to believe that there are jobs that required a college education in the past that are entry-level anyway. Hell, even the job I have now seems like any person eager for a job can do it. ANYONE. But I needed a degree for this shit. Colleges just seem like half of the on-the-job-training that I receive anyway. NO ONE knows what they really need to do and yet, the person with the flair, connections, extroverted personality and “relevant” degrees are the most valuable/most desirable people to hire.

We seem to have gotten off topic. What does TheHumanGirl want? 

I want a job that I can live off of that I can also be happy with doing. I want to be happy and not worry about money all that much. But here YOU ARE telling me to pursue an artsy fartsy passion that I KNOW will just make me a Millennial loser cliche. The jobs I have now at least pay my bills.

You need to be happy first. 

I know…

 

“Things I Know” (Part 1 of …)

Career Testing

Discover

My results. Took 2 hours to take test and to score it.

Today I took a career test. (One of many I have taken in my lifetime.) I went to Barnes & Noble a week or two ago and got this work book that claimed to help direct me towards my future. It’s called Discover What You’re Best At. I was waiting for the perfect time to take this comprehensive test and it finally happened today…

Sadly, I was a High Average in the fields of Business, Clerical, Logic and Mechanical tests. I was Low Average in the Numerical test. (Surprise! I can’t do percentages!) The only one that stood out at a Well Above Average score was my Social test.

I was upset because it was so razor thin of a margin (this test also counts for error) and that I could not really qualify for the 2 or 3 letter clusters offered since only my S stood out.(Does this sound like gibberish to you yet?) Oh well… On to the more interesting part of my blog today:

Here are a List of Reasons why I took this test:

  1. Throwing away money for a test to help me solidify a sense of seriousness about my future
  2. It has been a while since I took a test and I thought that I would see some sort of growth.
  3. I had a bunch of time on my hands.

List of Realizations after I took this test:

  1. I wonder if the answer is skewed because I have a degree in psych.
  2. I felt like throwing the book across the room because of #1 and hating myself for being bad with money
  3. I don’t HAVE to listen to the guidance… but I made a promise to myself that I would do whatever is the highest and on my personal career list if listed…

And because of #3 on my Realizations List, I am going to do it…

P.S. Personal Trainer was listed as a graduate degree option in my ‘S’ type… WTF??? DO many personal trainers need to go to grad school? Why hasn’t the world blown up with this type of scary information? Go home career test. You are drunk…


The Carl Jung’s and Isabel Briggs Myers’ personality test…. 

20160510_235010

I hate these scores. Such low percentages…

Yay! Another test! While applying for jobs, I was told to take this test before submitting a project. I didn’t get the job, (despite putting in long hours for the project) but it was the first time that someone wanted me to take a personality test for a job.

To be honest, I didn’t give a shit about it at first. I took this test before and got ISFJ or something like that, so I seemed to have had a more upgraded personality from a few years ago. (That is, if I took the test right the first time…) But for the sake of my career, I thought that it may be important to know the career options for an INFJ personality.

The FIRST one that came up on google was “Clinical Psychologist.”

Let me start by saying that I hate fate because that was what I was in school for… Now this test is telling me that my brain is broken and I should go back and complete a PhD in Psych already…


Conclusions

Cross-Referencing my INFJ personality with my S Cluster Career Suggestions (And all other 3-part career clusters that I decided mattered with an S and/or a M,L,C,B in it), I found a list of careers that is suitable for me:

  • Clinical Psychologist
  • Social Worker
  • School/Guidance Counselor
  • Educational Psychologist
  • Writer
  • Animator/Cartoonist
  • Graphic Designer
  • Librarian
  • HR Manager/Advisor
  • Industrial/Organizational Psychologist
  • Research Assistant
  • Engineering Psychologist
  • Executive Secretary
  • Virtual Assistant

Before this, I was ready to go into computer science. Now I know that that is probably not for me… Seems like any science is a no no here… Doesn’t mean I will never be interested, but maybe I should just stop fucking around and do clinical psych already… Seems that I will be best at it.

The End to everything that I know?

 

 

**** UPDATE****

6/1/16 – I returned the book.