Choking 

I have been coughing all night. I cannot sleep. I wonder about you. Many nights I wonder my purpose. I wonder my hate. I wonder my love. I know you. Do you know me? Do you know the long nights I think about you? Do you know that I am mixed up? Do you know that all your actions have a clear effect on me? I am here and I am tired. I cry into this sleepless night alone. I am falling into my old habit of waiting. I am waiting. Am I waiting for you or am I waiting for all the sadness to go away? Are you part of my sadness? Maybe. Are you part of my happiness? Maybe. There is no perfect answer… 

I am coughing. I am choking. I am not happy.

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