Month: August 2016

A Letter To Someone With A Name That Haunts Me

To be an incompetent person is a very unnatural thing. Are we born to be a Homer Simpson or a Lisa Simpson? Should we be as ignorant as we can or should we just know the heavy truths about the realities of this world? The phrase, “ignorance is bliss” has been true to me on many occasions. Not knowing what mean things people say about you in another language saves you from hating them. Less hate is bliss. Not knowing how to help an angry person or child and just pawning them off to someone else saves you the trouble of stress. Less stress is bliss. Not knowing the horrible things the world shows every night on the news saves you the terrors of senseless inhumanity and sadness for others. Less sadness is bliss. Not knowing how to correctly do a task – any task- saves you the mental anguish of panic and self-hate. Less self-hate is bliss. So why ever do anything if there is someone who can perform it better than you? Why should they teach your feeble, television-rotted brain anything if you are just going to make a mistake anyway? How important is your job, your family, your social status and the world you live in if they are all disappointing and demanding to your mental health and emotional well-being and they will all just disappoint you anyway? — These are all questions that can’t be answered directly. Ignorance is bliss until you start to harm the lives of those around you. You slack and then suddenly the world falls apart. The pursuit of perfection is non-existent. Should you be allowed to slip up? Is there room to fail? I say that there should be room to be a dumbass. I don’t believe in excuses, but I do believe in informing someone what went wrong with you. Don’t live your life like a Korean drama and just stand there and take abuse. You should stand up and argue- be strong and show others that you are learning, being better at something. Don’t expect me to be perfect. Don’t expect me to worship the ground you walk on when you made plenty of mistakes yourself. Just be with me… listen to my opinions and smile at me every so often. Just let me know that your presence is a human one so that I can do away with the bliss of ignorance and throw myself out there and be a risk taker. If I have to write a manual about my duties and exceptions, then tell me to don’t just go on about how I should just remember. Or better yet, hand me one that you made yourself- if you even did. Pretending to be better than me will not help. Pretending that I do not exist after a while just hurts me. It will make me ignore myself, my work and, ultimately, those around me. I am here. I will not sit idly by while you make me feel like the lesser. I try but at my own pace. You can’t expect me to treat strangers like family so easily when I barely know my own family. I am new to this place. Your easy-going world of work and play. I am sensitive and quiet. I am introverted and mysterious. But if you take my smile away, I will become a robot.

And I don’t know if I can do that…