I Stare Off Into Space…

I am here.

I feel a light around me but I don’t notice it right away.

I am in my own world.

In my own world I don’t see your face.

You must address me by my name to snap me out of it.

I might recall a song,

Or a television show,

Or how a character in a story made me feel,

Or I may concentrate on an emotion that I cannot share,

Or how an instance (whether real or made up) made me laugh or cry.

I can also be upset that I am in a certain place,

Not capable of flourishing in the setting that I am in.

Sometimes I focus on things that are out of my control,

It shouldn’t have happened, I should have done or said this,

I focus on my future,

I focus on my past,

 I rarely like to focus on the present.

Sometimes I pretend to be someone else.

Sometimes I am a better person.

Sometimes I am harsh and horrible.

I focus on things I cannot tell others about.

They will not understand.

They will judge.

I must do this on my own.

I need some time in my world before I introduce you to my problem. I need to think here. I need to process. I need to laugh at myself. I need to cry here. I need to smile stupidly. I need to feel something here before you can attempt to feel it with me.


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