This post was written in the future. It contains rants and other things.
I was sorta busy but not really. I have not been feeling like writing at all this past week. Like zero percent. I have actually thought of some decent things to write about but when I put my hands on the keyboard, I am lost.
The day is Sunday.
I am frustrated with myself. What am I doing with my life? Why do I sit and watch 30 Rock all day? I am full of angst but mostly have a fidgety mind. Why do I sit here? Why didn’t I shower? Screw this. I am going to the park. I get dressed in my workout clothes and leave to the park. It’s a drive. The whole way, I hope that there aren’t a lot of people. I arrive. The air is great. Not too hot, not too cold. Perfect. Something is wrong. I notice that the park is less green than usual. In fact, there is dead grass all around. A dead tree in the middle of the lake. Eyesore. I walk. I like to go the route that is usually the opposite of most people. I don’t like knowing that there are people behind me. I look in sadness as I see families feeding the ducks white bread. I see that many ducks have the “Angel Wing” which I know makes them unable to fly. Little kids are feeding the ducks and the animals are getting hostile. I walk past the smelly poop. I walk three laps around the entire park. I decide to get a salad at Tom’s. Yum. I rediscover this online game called ClickDEATH and how much I liked playing it. I decide to take a bath filled with lavender epsom salts and read my book about a Lakota woman. I use the rest of the salt and stay in the bath for a while. I text my friend The Warrior about a possible road trip around Christmas. Maybe up to Canada. I am excited. Relaxed and clean, I jump into my freshly made bed. I do not sleep well.
Just a day in the life. Bare bones. Major feelings. Doesn’t tell you anything. I would talk about the wind in my hair or how cute the babies in strollers were. I would talk about the young couples and the old couples holding hands. I would talk about how I felt sad about seeing them live this life that I wanted. I would talk about why I love to watch 30 Rock so much. I would talk about how I almost burned myself as I initially stepped into the bath. I would talk about how comfortable my heavy comforter was against my skin. I would talk deeply about any of these things, but I didn’t feel the reason to do so.