He just sits there in his silence. He knows when not to make a fuss. She just sits there in a baffled state. She wonders why he doesn’t speak his mind. She wants to know what he thinks about the issue she brought up. He doesn’t want to tell her. He feels as if the news would hurt her. She plays with her food. She takes invisible sips from the glass. She looks up at him. He holds his same static expression. He eats normally. This goes on for about ten more minutes until he is done eating. He looks at her and wonders why she hasn’t touched her food. Maybe he added too much salt in the rice again. He does it out of habit and he knows she hates it. He takes his dishes to the sink. When he comes back to into the dining room, she is gone. The bathroom door shut. He sighs. Maybe she just wants to be alone he thinks. He cleans up the dinner spread. He covers her uneaten food with plastic wrap and places it in the fridge. He loads the dishwasher. He pauses. He thinks about all the times this issue had been a problem. He is tired hearing it. Maybe he should tell her that. He decides that he won’t. The bathroom fan is still on. She sits on the toilet lid. She starts sobbing. Why is he like this? Why won’t he just understand? This shouldn’t be this difficult. Why is he always so quiet about this? I say everything and he says nothing. He isn’t mute, if I have aggravated or offended him, he should tell me – he should blame me. Her sobs continue. He looks at the closed bathroom door. After a while, she always runs away from the issue. She locks herself from the world. It’s like I can’t reach her.
The problem grows. And they move further and further apart. A rift separates them.
She starts to hate looking at him. It confuses her when he won’t talk. He starts to hate her presence. It frustrates him knowing that she harbors negative sentiment. The issue in question isn’t discussed anymore. Until one night she clutches her right side. They hurry to the emergency room. She had fainted as they had entered the hospital. An emergency appendectomy had to be performed. He waits in complete agony in the waiting room. He knew things like this could happen to her. He knew her unhealthy state. He knew that the issue of having a child could weaken her body. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to talk about it. He feared being alone. He feared that his spouse would die before he did. That’s why he doesn’t want to have to raise kids himself. The surgery was a tricky one, but they removed the appendix before it claimed her life. She was in the recovery room. She noticed that he was sleeping; resting his head on her bed like a pillow. She feared that something like this would happen to her. Always in a state of some kind of sickness. And now this. She looked at him. She only thought about having children with him and raising a normal family. However, only she would be the abnormal one. The cancerous one. But she wanted happiness in trying to be normal. She didn’t consider him as much. She just wanted this selfish dream of hers to come true. What if she had died last night? He woke up to find her stroking his head with tears running down her face. They embraced. They didn’t speak. They knew how selfish their thoughts were. How childlike they had acted. But at that moment, they were just happy about each other’s existence.