Turn It Around

The thoughts of inadequacy are sometimes blinding. Sometimes scalding. Sometimes buffeting. Sometimes drowning. The thought of not measuring up to one’s potential is disgusting to oneself. Sometimes you lose sight of the important things. Your accomplishments, your family, your friendships, your happiness. Sometimes you think that the people you love don’t give two shits about what you do or how you say things. You think you are more accommodating, you think that you look out for their best interests, but then they do or say something that you don’t feel like you deserved from them. Stupid thoughts fill up your head, comparisons to others your age, comparisons to how others your age should treat you, comparisons about how your parents should think and act around you, comparisons about your intelligence to the smarter people. Just comparisons. You start things but don’t finish them all as often as you like, or perhaps somethings get in the way. (i.e. emotions or people) You tell yourself that you will do it again and again, but when the same failing result is achieved, you start to point out that insanity is doing something again and again while expecting a different result. Maybe you will just stay the same and wallow in your thoughts of destruction. Your inadequacy. Or maybe you can turn this around and try again. Do you think that Rome was built in a day? Do you think that suicide is for people who have hope in their hearts? Do you think that anything you want comes easy? Do you think that everyone around you is better at everything that the world offers? Do you think that you are the ugliest person on the planet who has never received a smile from someone else? Do you think that the famous minds and figures on this earth got that way from sitting on their ass and doing nothing? Do you think that any challenge in life is made to be easy and done online in an hour? Do you think that giving up was the worst mistake of your life when you know you could have done better? You choose to say no to these things. You are not stupid. You are not alone. You have yourself and once you feel like everything in your life is on track, then the happiness you send out will call to others. Your family won’t annoy you. You friends will give up time for you instead of the other way around. The real people that claim that they love you will find a way to see you. They will cross oceans to see you, they will spend money on a gift for you or they will think about you much more than they did before. Inadequacy is in the mind of the sufferer. If you want to succeed, then walk the distance. Cut off those restricting branches, swim the rivers and lakes, build your shelter and be kind to those who you see who are also on the same journey. Of course that metaphor is lame. It’s more like: get a job, go back to school, study and pass your exams, get into a grad school that will fuel your passion and graduate with a job offer lined up for you. There are many literal and not-so-literal “paths” that you can take, but be sure to have one in mind. That will make life easier for the inadequate person. Self-help starts somewhere. Not in a book you buy at the bookstore or in an online article looking for hits on their site. No. It is you. And if people turn their backs on you, or forget about you, then they are not worth the pain of getting back. They are worth forgetting. If you fear loneliness, then stop fearing it. Stop fearing altogether. You can do life. You just need to forget the haters out there. Chances are, you may be one of them, you inadequate fool.

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